Dating & Relationships, Women

“Beta, Shaadi Kab Karoge?”

It’s funny how we make Facebook accounts for our parents and in return they make our matrimony accounts.

Staying with your folks has its pros and cons. While you have a good schedule, great house, amazing food and family time, things might go a bit out of hands. Like occasionally being pestered about, when will you get married! So this article is dedicated to all the 26 – 30 plus victims out there and of course my beloved parents.

Here’s a list of sarcastic communication (one way) from my parents that I have been accumulating since my 26th birthday. It’s time to share the wealth.

  1. When you are attending a friend’s wedding-

“All your friends are getting married, what are your plans?”

  1. When your ideal friend posts a baby picture-

“All your friends are having kids, when you will decide to marry?”

  1. When you come up with an academic course to buy time-

“You have done your B.com, CA, CS, CMA, LLB, M.Com, MBA, and also have a job, you should now get settled.”

      4. When you are staying with parents-

“Your friend’s kids are getting married and we are still raising you.”

  1. When.. you know-

“Sharma ji’s son got married, when will you get married.”

  1. When you are a whatsapping happy family –

“Beta, share some recent pictures of you. Put it on the family whatsapp group.”

  1. When at a random day, they are extra nice to you –

“So, the “typical Rajput” family has shown interest. Their son Teja is a software engineer, 6ft, working in a MNC and wants to settle abroad! You must consider this job opportunity.”

  1. When you say you are not ready yet-

“When will you be ready, when you are 30? We had our second kid at that age!”

  1. When you are tagged in a group photo-

“Who is the guy in that picture? How do you know him?”

  1. When you share some stories about friends and they catch on to a name –

“So, Lallan huh! Seems like a decent guy. What’s his last name? Does he have a job? Which village is he from again?”

  1. When you go out for meals with friends –

“Why don’t you invite your friends over for lunch sometime? Ask Lallan to come as well!”

  1. When you are chilling on a Sunday –

“You know, you should visit the kitchen at times, help Mom!”

  1. When you make tea-

They suspiciously sip and say, “Thank God, at least she can fix a cup of tea”

  1. When you agree to meet Teja at family restaurant –

“You guys talk and we will just be at the next table and pretend to not listen.”

  1. When you act like you don’t care –

“All are grown up and responsible now. Let them do as they wish. Who are we anyway?”

I also tried to put together a graphical representation of how our parent’s expectations mould over a period of time. Turns out, the more you delay, the healthier the expectations!

Capture

Age – 26  Match should be of same caste/religion

Age – 27 Match should be within the same religion at least

Age – 28 Match should be of same Nationality/Indian at least

Age – 29  Match should be of opposite Gender at least

But then again, you somehow overcome all this poking and commenting over a period of time because they are your parents!

And when you socialize less and increasingly spend your weekends with them. Here comes the bummer –

“Beta, Koi ho toh bata dena.”

This is exactly what you wanted! 😀

(Hope you enjoyed reading. If my fellow singletons have any such interesting or funny dialogues to contribute, then please share. Will include in my listJ)

 

Advertisements
Dating & Relationships, Fiction

The Blind date.

A typical weekday. But not so typical evening. Who knew the girl, Sagar was chatting with for the past week worked in the same building as he did.

So a time and place was agreed upon and they decided to meet that evening. Sagar was there before Antara. He picked a table just opposite the bar counter. An interesting bouquet of dim coppery lights hung like a pendant above the table.

It was 6.30 when Antara entered. Sagar was on a phone call. He waved at her from his chair, as he continued the call. When she reached near the table he apologetically took an excuse, as he indicated 1 minute with his finger. He didn’t get up to receive her.

“So, how are you doing! You know you look prettier in person than your pictures.” He remedied the situation as he put the phone back in his pocket.

Antara smiled her thanks and fixed a hair strand behind her ear.

“Interesting watch!” She returned the compliment.

Sagar started talking about his collection of watches. Then they talked about usual things like work, what they did, hobbies, music and so on.

They had ordered coffee but after 10 minutes they cancelled the order. The music and ambience warranted a drink.

“Tell me a secret!” Antara asked notoriously.

“But if i did, it will no longer be a secret” he evaded.

“How about we trade a secret” she made him a deal.

“Okay,” he leaned in closer, “I never told this to anyone but I once used to be a ballet dancer” he mocked.

They both burst into a fit of laughter. And Sagar subtley tucked her loose hair strand behind her ear.

“Let’s dance” she insisted.

“I really can’t” he excused.

“But this is my favourite song” she got up this time.

Sagar was hesitant. He made a face and said would like to enjoy the drink. This upset Antara a bit.

He could have at least accompanied her. She felt offended and embarrassed.

After finishing their drinks Antara said she must leave. He nodded.

They got up and shook hands. Thanks were exchanged. He looked at her in anticipation for another date. But she didnt return the eye contact.

They made their way towards the door. Antara was a little ahead of Sagar. When she got outside she turned back and discovered that Sagar was still walking.

Well not exactly walking. He was slow and was limping with one hand on his crutches. Sagar’s left leg was…. He only had one leg.

A ghost of guilt and regret clogged her chest. So that’s why he never got up and said he couldn’t dance. And she was being so pushy. Why wouldn’t he tell her about it. How could she be so blind to notice. Antara was sad, angry and embarrassed.

I hope to see you again! Sagar said with uncertainty.

“Indeed!” She replied. Trying not to look at the leg.

It had started raining. “My cab is waiting” she waved hurriedly.

Sagar stood there and watched her walking swiftly, then taking quick and long steps, and then running towards the main road.

Dating & Relationships

NEED for SPEED MEET

After lunch hours are drudgingly slow at work. I was browsing on the internet and came across an interesting event on my Facebook page. Speed meet, the extrovert name peaked my interest. I clicked on their link and read about it, went through their previous event shots and without further contemplation decided to enroll for it.  Also, just another perquisite of being single.

Two days later I received a scrutiny call and after that an email from the DateTix team said I was shortlisted for this event. I was really excited! Till now I had only seen it in the movies or read about speed dating, but to be actually trying it felt like taking adrenaline shots in a row!

I had a lot of questions on my mind. What am I gonna wear? What questions should I ask? What question would they ask? What if I feel out of the place? Are people going to judge? What if it’s stupid? But what if it’s actually worth it? What if I do meet someone great! Would we click well? …  Again, what am I going to wear!!!

The concept of speed dating is still young in India. It could be because people are shy or they fear about being judged. But I think it is a great way to meet legit, single, like-minded, decent and sensible people. It is definitely better than those online apps where you can’t be even sure of someone’s gender. Also, it is better than been matched by your uncles and aunts in a family or a cousin’s wedding function. And the matrimony sites are only being operated by parents these days.

And here is this opportunity where you are sure to meet with only a filtered crowd of working professionals of near or similar interests. There isn’t any rehearsed or a copied “about me” but a five-minute face to face real-time interaction. And you do not have to go through the painful steps of texting, worry about exchanging numbers or sharing any personal info. You only need to know whether you are ready and if in case you are, what are you seeking in your partner to be?

So the day arrived and I reached the venue on time. Now being punctual is really important as you get to browse a bit and shortlist a few faces as it gets challenging to remember when you are meeting them rapidly. You are given a sheet of paper with 10 or 12 names listed down. After every meet you can write a Yes or a No against the name of the person depending on how it went. But remember, 5 minutes.

There’s an announcement which keeps you on track. After 2 meetings it gets repetitive but also crazily interesting. In my case, it was a roller coaster ride. When you realize the time is ticking you can bomb with some unique questions. Let me share what I discovered from the experience and remember,

  1. Certain guy came prepared with questions like, Google or android? Friends or family? Hollywood or Bollywood? India or abroad? Too close ended.
  2. Another was too much into traveling and kept talking about his expeditions. He actually went on for the entire 5 minutes like a little kid. That was funny.
  3. The next meeting was weird as my name reminded him of his sister. Awkward! But we laughed.
  4. The next person was also a Taurean and we became a team empowering all the Taureans.
  5. Someone talked about their pet and got too deep into it. Well I like them but don’t own any.
  6. Guys talked about their singing talents, their reading lists, photography, and a lot of them talked about traveling. Actually most of them did.
  7. A guy initiated the conversation with a fancy pick up line and it made me laugh, “Is that how you plan to begin this?’’
  8. One of them spoke in a serious tone, like mafia, dressed sharp and no voice modulation.

It was so much fun as you get to know so many new things and learn about people. Although I didn’t find anyone I could click with, but it was worth a try and definitely made my Sunday. I really felt good that now there is an arena where I can meet and decide on my own whether I like the person or not without having to go through so many steps as time is of the essence.

Given an average life of 75 years, for someone who is 27, he or she has only 2496 Sundays left in their lives. And if you plan to get married by 30, that leaves you with only a 104 Sundays my friend.

I say invest in these Sundays intelligently and decide for yourself, who you want to spend your rest of your weekends and weekdays with because you don’t need validation from anyone.

I might try my luck again. Who knows he might be thinking of trying his luck as well!

Cheers and spread joy!